Thursday, July 25, 2013


Since the last time I've blogged I've been through a lot. There's just something magical about the world we live in. In the past 4 years I've spent in college, examining myself, reexamining myself, looking at the world, and now finally accepting the world for what it is- I realized that it all up to me to decide my fate and where I go in life. It's not just about being a deep introvert constantly thinking about things, there's a whole other world out there that we don't know about.

I think a few months after my last blog I had begun having some very bad anxiety issues... That spring semester that I had gone through went extremely badly. The reason? The realization that I cannot continue with the lifestyle I had been living in the next oncoming years. Things were going to change, whether I liked it or not.

As I pulled myself out of this phase, I once again understood how little I had experienced with "living". I realized that nearly everyone around my age was going through the same thing, unless of course their circumstances greatly differed from mine. But for the most part, nearly all my friends and acquaintances seem to have been going through a period in their lives where they start to really worry for their future as I had. Nearly all of my friends that I had in high school ended up enjoying the club life, parties, and weekly trips to the bar. I too enjoyed them to some extent, but I never had constant streams of pics of myself at fancy clubs as some of them had. Some are still partying, some have gone off the radar, those that have gone off the radar are most likely going through what I went through.

I uttered the words out my mouth "I'm finally 21!" before and now I'm telling myself "Holy shit I'm 21, I have another 9 years before I'm 30". Countries have different regulations concerning the official age of adulthood, but the transition from teenage adolescent to a fully conscientious adult is unfathomably huge. There are people who do indeed reach that stage early in their lives, but for most others it may take much longer, in unfortunate cases, some don't ever get to that point in their lives even venturing in to their middle-ages. But it's this transition that's so important to become truly happy with yourself in life.

Mmm this blog has been coming off very preachy. The reason for all this revelation is all because of how I pulled myself out of my rut. I spent the past few years constantly re-examining myself, as is evident on the history of this blog. I had my retarded moments, my crappy epiphanies, and dark times when I just looked out the window and only saw black and white.

I realized it was time to move on. And take on the world for what it is instead of just isolating myself. Recently in my life I've be going through some huge up swings. I landed myself an excellent position in an IT department at a rapidly growing company, and I've made a HUGE decision for myself when I graduate from school.

I've decided to enlist myself as a Marine Officer after graduation. This is an option for grad students as most others have join the Marines as "enlisted". Marines coming out of boot camp are FIT. Much more so than any other branch, making it a very respectable branch. They're the branch of our military that is on the front lines before the army and the everything else. That said it isn't easy to join, and it certainly is not easy to excel. I only feel that I will be happy if I can put myself to such a challenge and come out of it successful, anything less and I'll be back to the same joe schmoe I was and many other people are. 

I've already started preparing, adding tons of cardio to my weight lifting routine. Basically along with lifting I'm running 3 miles nearly everyday, and over the course of the next few weeks I'll be upping that mileage to improve my time during the 3 mile run for the real deal. I can say for a fact that I have never been so physically and mentally healthy in my life until now. Getting that office job, 9 - 5, AIR CONDITIONING (note I worked in a sweat shop beforehand), has been a huge morale booster. Took me months to land a job, glad it all paid off.

Pretty much everything that you have witnessed in this blog site was my growth of maturity through college. EVERYONE will go through this, not just as I have but in their own ways. You're not ready for life just coming out of high school, especially if you haven't lived with a lot of true hardship in your life. You will continue to grow through your 4 years of college. You may be like my friends, partying all the time, going to bars, or simply just traveling every goddamn corner of the world. But eventually things around you will settle down, and you'll have to THINK just as I have about where you really want to go with your life. Even for people who believe they have it all figured out, they don't, there will always be so many challenges to come for them. These challenges will break them down, and they will have to learn to come out of it, but when they do, they will be happy.

This will be my last blog post. However maybe a year from now I will come back to say something! This blog is precious to me. It truly is a journal that I can use to look back on, and learn from. A year from now my circumstances will be COMPLETELY changed from what they are now at this very exact moment as my fingers pound my mechanical keyboard. I may be a Marine, I may be a depressed otaku, I might even be dead OR I might even achieve something beyond my wildest dreams. Life is beautiful, not matter how bad things can get there will always be light at the end, and you can reach it as long as you try. If you're not happy with where you are now, you have to ACT to move on.

The purpose of life, at least for me, is to seek true happiness.

God speed, thank you for anyone who reads this.


  1. please dont let this be the last blog post! I was honestly worried and shocked when i saw tht u wanted to enlist, but now reading your reasoning I can only wish you the best! I'm really happy that you're feeling more fit and healthy and everyone examines their life, i'm sick of doing tat and I just want to cherish my youthful years, I know one day i'll have to grow up and take responsibility. Congratulations on the job aswell and I wish you the best! dont overwork yourself though!

  2. That's pretty awesome, being a Marine.

    I'll know the buff guy I bump into when I visit the state Bee Gees sang about.

    Omedeto...soshite...Ganbaro, ne? You WILL find the thing/person that would bring you happiness, it comes to people who work hard to find it. * manhugplz icon being abused*