What, you're 21? Hmm, how 'bout be we go for a drink tonight?
Odd title for a blog entry? I would agree as well. But its one of those days you can't help but feel that way. One of those days when everything in the world seemed right for once (I haven't smoked any weed in about a month so this mellowness is legit! =O).
I woke up, 5:30 in the morning- not hungover, not pissed, in fact I was feeling great. I've been meaning to make a post earlier in the week to put up some of my drawings and paintings up for critique and self-analysis, but I've been doing something much more important that has taken up all my free blogging time. And that would be me doing away with my horrible procrastination habits. That's right, damn straight, I didn't procrastinate for once, and it was great. I painted everything that needed to be done a day beforehand, did all my chemistry work, AND took 30 photos for my next assignment that was due a week away!
"うん！いいよ。"－ And I was like "Awww yeaaa"
So I had a lot of free time to enjoy for myself. The greatest part about getting things done earlier is the fact that it relieves all that built up stress you have from worrying over work. Living with stress is actually one of the biggest downers in life that most people disregard. Instead I find that most people put the blame on the actual work thats due. But really I believe that it's just the stress going along with the work that makes it such a pain in the ass. So instead of saying "Damn, all this work is fucking my swag" it should be more like "Man if I don't get this work done the stress is gonna fuck my swag".
One of my sketches, used a really soft ebony pencil for it
Hmm, I don't I've ever touched on the subject of love in this blog. I've spent the last 3 years ignoring it. Plus I've always deplored the aspect of pouring out my personal life on my blogs, especially after the old years of using xanga with my friends =_= ( /facepalm). But over the past few years of using this blog, it's really becoming a nice personal window to reinspect myself- a place where I can get away from my friends and just throw my thoughts out up into the air. So why not, it'll be fun looking back on this.
I think it was after Jessica that I stopped caring about looking for a girlfriend. First it was Diane... but I dumped her because I knew that I just wanted to have a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend (highschool lol...), and after realizing that I really really loved Jessica it was just wrong to keep going out with her. I get mixed message from Jessica after confessing (rejection or what?), then we try to give it another go after she opens up a little to me, then I get rejected again after the date... Since then I've forced myself to just focus on becoming successful. So after finally reaching a calm, which was today lol- I've given it some more thought.
It's not like I wasn't tempted to try again. Beginning of freshman year of college I was seriously considering on trying to go out with a girl who had a similar temperament like mine. She was really smart, she was chill, and she was sweet and we had a really easy time talking to each other. But literally a few minutes before deciding to try asking her out to the movies and whatnot I decided not to. I don't know why. All of the sudden I became disinterested. Since that day I've been extremely indifferent to love, during my terrible months of work I obviously had no time to even give it a thought. But now- after the calm after the storm... it's a sweet thought to have. Sometimes you just want someone there to be with you.
On a funnier note I DID WRITE A LOVE LETTER! And yes it was super effective =D, she wrote one back too! So love letters exist in America lol, maybe I'll upload it if it's still sitting around somewhere- none of my irl friends know that I blog anymore so no ones going to find out! It's gloomy to type this all out, but I can't help but laugh at the stupid things I've done or how out-of-character I've acted in front of a girl I like. And once in a while I wonder what'd it'd be like if I didn't break-up with Diane... or how different it would be if I was more of a mature person when I first asked her out...
I don't know when, but eventually I'll meet someone with the same attitude towards life and love as I do. Someone to spend a night with drinking, talking about our day, someone you can spill out all of your true feelings and thoughts to.
Someone to grow old with... yeah...